I can’t believe it’s been 10 weeks
August 22, 2009
I can’t believe the kids have been out of school for 10 weeks already. How is it possible that 10 weeks have passed? Well, the last time I wrote, I had made a commitment to take care of myself this summer. And, I’ve done that. It’s interesting, however, that when you focus on yourself how much you learn about yourself. My fitness instructor was really terrific. She was always on the lookout for total body issues and not just your fitness. She had recommended to me that I get an adrenal stress test done. It’s interesting because a friend of mine who is a naturopath had suggested that perhaps my cortisol levels had something to do with my weight gain since my son’s diagnosis. Typical of me, I shrugged it off as a potential excuse - I am not one that likes excuses for what I considered a personal failing two years ago. But after two summers of rigorous fitness and not losing a single pound from it, I started to wonder if she could be right - afterall, I’ve never struggled with my weight. Then that study came out about mom’s of autism having very low levels of cortisol (I posted these studies in my blog). And then my fitness instructor, based on certain symptoms I was exhibiting, suggested I get tested. It was as if someone was pounding me over the head with this recommendation and I finally heard it. So, I got tested. And, indeed, I was suffering from adrenal fatigue in stage 3 (stage 4 is the disease stage). And now that I understand how cortisol works in the body, I can pretty much track the whole process from the day of my son’s diagnosis. Needless to say, it was a good thing I finally chose this summer to take care of myself. But, the workouts were hard on me. Usually with a 10 week class, you should be able to withstand the exercise level getting more and more difficult each week. This was not the case with me. And as the weeks went on, I experienced more and more fatigue - mostly to my joints. But I lost a few pounds and inches and it felt good to be exercising so hard. And, I have been concentrating on figuring out the best diet (not necessarily a weight loss diet but an overall diet) for me and I’m on a supplement schedule that should help resolve the cortisol issues. And, my doctor is involved in further testing as well. So I feel like I’m in better control right now. Things aren’t resolved and I’m not where I’d like to be. But, I don’t feel as powerless.
So, this summer was interesting as the autism thing goes. Just because I decide to take time for myself, certainly doesn’t mean that autism gets put on hold! I thought I would summarize in the positive and negative categories.
Negatives:
A crazy nanny that I had hired told me after one day that I was an irresponsible mother and in complete denial of my son’s aspergers! Couldn’t even give her the time of day to explain to her how wrong she was or to defend myself and she no longer came in contact with my children. But, the idea that I would be attacked in this way is unimaginable.
Someone that I considered a friend disclosed my son’s aspergers to someone in an inappropriate manner and without asking me about it first. It then caused me the hassle of having to defend myself, which a good mom should never have to do to anyone.
Another person (can you tell I’m not disclosing names or details with any of these scenarios) tells me things (maybe lecturing?) that I should be doing at home with my son, everyone seems to think they know better even though they have never been a mother let alone a mother of a child with any kind of autism. And then again I feel the need to defend myself - that I choose my battles carefully with my children at home and I don’t sweat the small stuff - which is why I believe I have a better relationship with my son than most anyone.
In my work, I deal with constant battling between the autism community – between biomedical and medical interventions, between to vaccinate or not to vaccinate, between high functioning and low functioning, between aspergers and autism, between private services and public services, between all disabilities and autism – no wonder we aren’t getting anywhere with autism – even the parent population can’t work together without tearing each other apart!
There are two new families that will have teaching assistants for their child in my son’s grade. I helped them with the process of finding and hiring their teaching assistants - feeling very responsible for making sure the program at the school continues to be successful. We found 3 excellent candidates and hired them. Just my luck, mine backed out on me with just 1 and a half weeks left before school starts. So I had to make a mad dash and start the recruitment process all over again!
Positives:
I had a couple of really great nannies that did a terrific job with my kids. I am grateful.
I have great friends who, despite asperger’s, are fully supportive and still want to hang out with us! I am so grateful.
Despite the battles I choose and the ones I don’t choose to fight at home, my son is doing GREAT! We saw so much progress this summer in so many areas, particularly social and behavioral, which was truly amazing. Again, I am grateful not only for the amazing work of the behavioral specialists but also just the divine intervention that I know is working in our favor.
I have met so many wonderful mothers and fathers of children with autism who aren’t negative, who are fully supportive, who are smart and have good ideas for how to solve problems, and who are full of valuable information. I want to soak up all of their energy and ideas.
Finally, we have hired someone that I believe will do an outstanding job as a teaching assistant and I’m excited for the school year to begin.
I’ll begin regular blogging now as we prepare for the new school year.
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