getting the diagnosis
February 19, 2009
I was reading a message from a woman today. She was crying as she was writing. She had just received the aspergers diagnosis for her 6 year old son. I remember how that felt. In one sense, you are relieved to have some kind of answer. For us, it was 5 years of telling friends that we have a difficult child, that we can’t go to restaurants, that we can’t go on vacations, etc. like “normal” families can. No one understood us. They thought we were just rigid parents afraid to take our kids anywhere, or parents who were just unprepared for crying babies, get over it. But finally, there is some rationale to it all. However, at the same time, you are dealing with the overwhelming emotions from knowing that your child is not “normal”. Often when your child is just diagnosed, you have no idea what aspergers is. You are told it is on the autism spectrum. You are told he is high functioning. But what does any of that mean? Especially when you are told that he will need special services. Why does he need special services if he’s so high functioning and he’s so smart? It’s all very confusing and overwhelming.
All I can say is my experience with my son has been the most enriching experience of my life. And, I honestly admire my son. I admire my daughter too. But, my daughter is a lot like me. I get her. My son’s brain is so completely opposite mine. He’s fascinating. I wouldn’t change him for anything in the world! The diagnosis of aspergers just helped us to understand, to know he was actually o.k., to help us understand why our job as parents was going to be more difficult than other parents, and to know that was o.k. too.
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